Unwanted Grey
by The Compendium of Steve
Summary: Very few residents of Ponyville have a life as joyful and carefree as that of the bubbly Derpy Hooves. A good job, a loving daughter, and friends aplenty, all under a warm blanket of indefatigable optimism. Yet when a mysterious stallion moves into town, a waylaid package may give the happy-go-lucky mare a chance to say hello. Perhaps something even more...
1. A typical day

**UNWANTED GREY**

Derpy's head buzzed with anxiety and frustration as she flew over Ponyville. The mid-afternoon sky was somewhat crowded, leading to some near mid-air collisions with passing pegasi and the sputtering of several apologies, all while maintaining her fast speed and keeping the strings of her package firmly grasped in her teeth.

 _Gotta hurry gotta hurry! I can't let this get any worse than it already is!_

Her mail rounds had ended close to an hour ago, but the package in question was supposed to have been delivered the previous day. A bit of "oversight" on the part of the mailmare had caused its delay, and she was hurriedly making amends.

 _It was right there on the desk! Stupid stupid stupid stupid! He's going to have every right to be angry._

The package in question was addressed to one Auburn Dusk, an earth stallion that had recently moved to a house outside of town. Few ponies have seen him in the week since his arrival, and those who had noted his brusque behavior, so it's no surprise that the town gossipers labeled him as a stalwart recluse with a mysterious past. At the moment, though, he was a patron that was sorely lacking their mail.

 _Faster Faster Faster!_

As the sun emitted the first tints of evening light, Derpy made it into the fields surrounding Ponyville and veered right toward Everfree Forest. In a few moments she spotted the newly-built log cabin and flapped her wings to slow down for landing. A few gentle flaps combined with her flight's momentum allowed her to touch down by the mailbox, and entering a quick trot she hurried to the domicile. Once at the door, she stopped to catch her breath, breathing in deeply through the twine still in her mouth. The burning in her lungs was replaced with dread over a face-to-face with the stallion, as she speculated on what kind of outrage a recluse would have.

 _It's okay, you're just doing your job. Just knock on the door, apologize and give him the package. Easy, right?_

"Oh man..." she whimpered before gently putting the package down to empty her mouth. Taking a deep breath and psyching herself for the worst, she raised a hoof, hesitated, then rapped it three times against the door. "Package delivery." Several seconds passed without a response, and Derpy willed herself to knock again. "Hello? I'm here to deliver a package." One of her knocks pushed the door inward. Eyeing the opened door curiously, she poked her head around and looked inside. After a moment she pushed the door completely open and stood in the doorway, letting the sunlight brighten the modest living room within. Everything was neat and tidy, from the lone sofa to the plain coffee table, yet there was no sign of anypony. Oddly enough, she thought, it didn't seem like anyone's been there for a while.

"Hellooooo?" Derpy felt both relieved and a bit disheartened when nobody responded. She was spared a possible yelling, but what of the fate of the waylaid package?

 _Guess he went out. Hmm... actually, what better housewarming gift then a long-awaited package?_

Assured by her sound reasoning, Derpy turned back to grab the package, and trotting into the living room she placed it on the coffee table in the center, taking one last cursory glance. "I'll just be leaving it in here then. Oops, no one's here, hee hee." With a grin she headed back outside, making sure to close the door upon leaving. Her task done and with her seemingly off the hook, Derpy sighed in relief and took to the air. Though the wind felt refreshing, it didn't help ease the stirrings in her mind. Specifically those regarding the absent Mr. Dusk.

* * *

The color of the sky was considerably more orange as Derpy chatted away with two of her friends at a table in front of the Clover Cafe, specifically over her trip to the cabin.

"The door was unlocked?" Colgate, the blue-coated unicorn with the streaked mane, asked.

"And you just barged in?" Raindrops, the yellow pegasus with a turquoise, asked in hopes of uncovering some little scandal.

"I don't think he'll mind," Derpy said innocently. "It'll be like a present when he gets back. Also, it'd probably be extra rude to just leave it outside after not delivering it when I should have."

"As reckless as ever, Derpy." Raindrops gave a shake of the head before drinking from her straw with a contemptible grin. "Pretty daring of you to step into a bachelor's home like that."

"W-what do you mean?" Derpy's jaw dropped in comical dismay.

"Oh she's just teasing," Colgate said, casting a quick glare at Raindrops before resuming. "That was still a nice thing you did, Derpy, though he might be a bit weirded out finding it in his living room then by his mailbox."

"I honestly thought he'd be home," Derpy replied, poking at her half-eaten muffin. "Recluses aren't known for leaving their houses, right?"

Colgate looked around awkwardly before answering, "Not exactly..."

"That raises a good question, though," Raindrops spoke up, looking thoughtfully with a hoof to her chin. "There would've been a stir if he had shown up in town today."

"He didn't come to town?" the mailmare asked.

"Nuh-uh, otherwise we would have heard about it."

"He could have gone someplace outside of town, like to Canterlot or some such," Colgate interjected.

"Probably." Raindrops placed her forehooves behind her head before speaking again. "But on that note, Lily hasn't been seen today either."

"What makes you say that?" Colgate asked her winged chum as a magic-encased sandwich floated near her mouth.

"Well, she's always hanging around those other two at the flower stands, but I didn't see her there. And neither did Rose or Daisy when I asked."

"That is pretty strange," Colgate admitted through the bite of sandwich. "She could've been sick though, or had gone out someplace as well." At that, Raindrops let out a loud gasp.

"Colgate, you don't think that she and that Auburn guy!"

Colgate looked unamused by that insinuation. "...That's a stretch even by your standards."

"But what a story that would make: the Loner and the Flower Pony, two strangers from different walks of life kindling the fire of a forbidden Colgatence."

Colgate shrugged. "Doesn't sound all that forbidden to me."

"I just hope he finds the package when he gets back," Derpy added, oblivious to whatever her friends were engaged in. In the face of such indifference, Raindrops gave a huff.

"You two are no fun." Raindrops slurped her drink moodily as Colgate turned her attention back to Derpy.

"He'll be sure to find it. You made sure to leave it in the middle of the living room, right?"

"Absolutely positively sure!" Derpy gulped down the last of her muffin and licked her lips contentedly. "It was nice talking with you girls. I need to get home and make dinner for Dinky."

"Yeah, I should head back, too," Colgate nodded. "Need to get some of this sandwich out of my teeth."

"What is up with you and keeping your teeth clean, I mean, seriously," Raindrops said.

"Oral hygiene is very important, especially with how much sweets ponies eat around here. If nopony gave a darn, there'd hardly be a full set of teeth between us!"

"Yeah yeah, no need to get on your high horse. I'll do some flossing tonight for your sake." Raindrops stood up and tossed some bits onto the table. "Welp, I gotta fly. Catch you guys later." With a hard flap she sprang into the air and flew off into the evening.

"See you, Raindrops!" Derpy waved enthusiastically.

"See you," Colgate also waved, a tad more restrained, then turning to Derpy, "I guess we should pay and call it a day then." Derpy nodded wholeheartedly, and after the two mares put down their bits they got up and trotted back onto the street. It wasn't long, though, before something caught Derpy's attention that brought her to an abrupt halt. Colgate took immediate notice and stopped as well.

"What is it, Derpy?" she asked.

"Huh? I thought I saw that colt walking backwards."

"What colt?" Colgate looked around, but only caught a glimpse of a small white figure backing around a corner. "You meant that colt? You sure he wasn't just backing up?"

"Uhhhh, maybe? But he was backing up for a while in that case."

Colgate sighed, but followed it up with a friendly smile. "Nothing to worry about, Derpy. I'm pretty sure all kids walk backwards at some point or other."

* * *

The chirping of morning birds, a fresh breeze, and the heft of a mail-laden satchel put Derpy into a positive mindset as she took off from the post office to begin her rounds. These morning flights always brought a smile to her face out of appreciation for life, and since the mishap with the package had gone unnoticed by the postmaster, there was nothing to dampen her wonderful mood. First stop, and one of her favorites, was the famed Cakes residence: Sugarcube Corner. Spotting the candy-coated building, she dived and glided to the main entrance. As she did so, she pondered about whether the building really was made of candy or just looked like it. It was a train of thought she had many times before and never bothered to test. Next time she would always tell herself.

Her thoughts turned back to work upon landing. Trotting through the front door, she beamed in the direction of the counter, which was currently being tended by the stout and ever-jovial Mrs. Cake.

"Why hello, Derpy. Good morning to you," she greeted the mailmare.

"Morning Mrs. Cake! I got a letter from Phillydelphia for you." Derpy moved her snout into the satchel and pulled out a single yellow envelope with her teeth, which Mrs. Cake promptly took from her.

"Oh, it must be my cousin," Mrs. Cake said delightedly as she looked over the envelope's writing. "Would you like your usual complimentary muffin?"

"Not for now, Mrs. Cake," Derpy replied. "I realized I've been having plenty of those, and decided to hold off and watch my figure. Otherwise it'd be harder for me to fly." Derpy nodded and turned to leave as Mrs. Cake giggled softly.

"I don't think it'll ever come to that, deary, especially seeing how slim you are despite all that you've eaten up to now."

"I don't want to risk it," Derpy answered, turning her head back mid-pace. "Mail needs to be delivered, and I wouldn't make for a good mail-pegasus if I couldn't f—" The side of Derpy's face collided with a wall, konking her onto the floor. Sitting up to straighten her further skewed wall-vision, she asked, "Where'd that wall come from?"

"Oh silly dear, the door is over there." Once her eyes were readjusted, Derpy looked in the direction of Mrs. Cake's indicative hoof and saw the front door... placed about two feet from where Derpy thought it had been.

"But wasn't the door right here?" she asked Mrs. Cake confusedly.

"What do you mean? The door's always been there," the baker stated. "You really should pay attention."

Derpy tilted her head in growing confusion. "Ummmmm... Okay!" Getting back onto her hooves, she headed out the door. "See you later, Mrs. Cake."

"Bye bye now, dear." Back outside, Derpy took to the air to her next delivery, feeling a little miffed about her accident.

 _It's weird; I haven't run into any walls in weeks, so why now, and Sugarcube Corner of all places? I know that front door like the front door of my own house, but Mrs. Cakes sounded certain, and she's not the sort to lie. Maybe I should've had that muffin to help me concentrate._

Her mental quandary dispelled immediately when she approached the home of Berry Punch, who was to receive an issue of _Punch Connoisseurs Monthly_ for this round. When her hooves touched the ground, Derpy saw that the front door was open, and made the decision to stop in for a house call rather than stick the magazine into the mailbox. Lining up with the door, Derpy trotted confidently forward... right into another wall. Stepping back while rubbing her sore nose, she looked around and saw nothing but solid wall before her. A quick glance to the side and she found the door, except it was on a completely different side of the house.

 _What the? Why's it over there? Did it move when I blinked?_

A feeling of concern filled her thoughts as she redirected herself to the "proper" side and went inside. Entering the living room, she called, "Hi Berry! I've got your mail!" Nothing but silence met her, not even a shuffling of any kind from upstairs or below. Her concern heightened slightly more, but there was a job to be done. "Um, I'm just going to leave it on the table. Also your door's open!"

Taking the magazine from her satchel, Derpy placed it on the table near the kitchen entryway and turned back, only to stop at seeing a bare wall in the direction of where she came from. A look to the side showed the door had appeared where she originally thought it had been.

 _It did it again. Just what is going on? That definitely wasn't there a moment ago._

Though she wanted to figure out the trickery of the door, the pressing matter of mail service outweighed that concerns, and so she left out the door, taking a moment to close it so that it was barely open a crack. Derpy trotted out toward the middle of the street, looking back uncomfortably at Berry's house, her mind still uneased.

 _This morning has been pretty weird. Am I really_ that _unfocused? Doors can't possibly move on their own... Hmm, maybe I should think about something else._

"Guess I should double-check who's next," she said aloud to herself, pulling her satchel around onto the ground before her and sitting down as ponies walked by attending to their own business. "Let's see... next is Lemon Drop. Then it's Blossomforth, then Cheerilee, Rose, Filthy Rich, Junebug, Junebug, Junebug... Huh?" She rifled a bit more through the satchel with her hooves. "Junebug, Junebug Junebug, Junebug Junebug Junebug." A few letters more yielded the same result: all addressed to Junebug. What's more, they looked practically identical.

 _That's a lot of orders; I don't remember seeing this many last time I looked. Guess she got a lot of subscription offers, but... they all look the same, though. Even have the same crooked stamp and everything. Never seen anything like—_

"Hey there, Derpy!"

Derpy's pondering switched off as she looked at an approaching Colgate. The unicorn titled her head before asking, "What are you doing sitting in the middle of the street?"

"Uhh, just looking over the mail," Derpy responded automatically, then she got back up on her hooves. "I've been having a pretty weird morning."

"Yeah, same here. I haven't seen Raindrops today."

"You haven't?"

Colgate nodded. "Yeah. We were supposed to meet for breakfast, but she never showed up. She probably just overslept, though. I was on my way to her place to give her a yelling."

"Ah. She does tend to do that." Her concerns somewhat alleviated, Derpy allowed her gaze to wander upward to the picturesque morning sky. Not a cloud in the sky, though there was a flock of birds flying through the azure. But she noticed something off about the birds, specifically that their wing motions were stiff and appeared... jagged? Blocky? Maybe a bit off-color too.

"Colgate, do those birds look strange to you?" Derpy pointed to the odd avians. Colgate looked up at them, making no visible reaction.

"No, they just look like regular birds to me." Colgate turned back to her friend. "What's strange about them?"

"Um, nothing, I guess. Must've been something in my eye." Derpy turned around. "Anyway I should get back to my rounds so later!" She promptly took to the air, and once alone in the sky again, her thoughts turned back to the oddities of the day.

 _Just one thing after another, and nopony seems to notice it. I probably need to get my eyes checked, but would that mean getting glasses? Ohhh, why is all this happening? No no, calm down. Deliver mail, worry later. The town needs its mail._

Remembering her creed, Derpy sallied forth over the town to her next destination. In less than a minute she had reached the home of Lemon Drop, dropping down by the mailbox. The flag on it was up, so the pegasus dutifully pushed it down and opened the front, taking out the contents and stuffing them into her satchel.

 _Alright, no doors to deal with this time around. Just put it in and be off. Easy peasy._

As she was about to put some mail into the empty mailbox, she noticed it had changed. Rather than being a simple sorta bread loafy shape as it originally had been, it looked contorted to the point of looking like two green blocks stuck together at odd angles. Its door still open, Derpy tried to put the letter in, but there wasn't room for it to fit.

"What's with this thing?"

She tenderly lifted a hoof to poke the strange receptacle, but upon doing so its "parts" rearranged into different places before switching back, making the pegasus jump back in surprise. "Ooooookay, I'm just gonna... leave you alone." Getting no response from the mailbox, Derpy turned and hoofed it out of there, not bothering to pick up the letter she had dropped. Trotting toward the street, she started noticing some oddly-colored patches of grass. Shades of green lighter and darker than their surroundings, and even a patch that looked bluish. She also noticed something else: a faint ringing in her ears.

 _Doors, mailboxes, even the grass is looking funny. It can't be lack of focus; something definitely isn't right._

She moved anxiously, casting glances around her as more oddities appeared. Thatching and tilings on roofs appeared mismatched, more of the grass looked discolored, and the ringing in her ears became more noticeable. From the corners of her eyes, the sides of buildings seemed to shift, but when she looked back they appeared normal. As she began passing by more ponies, she spotted Caramel crossing her path ahead at a relaxed trot. In a moment, though, he transported several yards in a blink, making Derpy stop in her tracks, flabbergasted. The earth pony kept moving like nothing happened, but she was certain he had just teleported. However, it appeared to have gone unnoticed by everyone else.

 _Did he just..? It can't be, but he did! Shouldn't somepony be saying something? Someone besides me_ had _to have seen that!_

A gentle touch on her shoulder made her stiffen with a yelp as a voice inquired, "Derpy, are you alright?" Derpy looked to the side and saw Colgate, who was giving her a look of deepest concern. "I'm sorry to startle you. You had left looking bothered by something; what's going on?"

Derpy made a helpless sigh. "I-I just don't know, Colgate. I'm seeing things that nopony else sees and it's getting to me!"

"What kind of things?"

Derpy hesitated a moment, but decided to just pour it out. "Like mailboxes becoming all blocky and doors switching what wall they're on and just now I saw Caramel teleport like Twilight does but that can't be because he's not a unicorn and I'm so confused about what's going on, Colgate!"

Colgate raised an eyebrow. "You saw Caramel teleport?"

"Yeah!" Derpy cried with her forehooves thrown up in exasperation, only to have them fall upon her face. "But nopony else saw it; it's probably all just in my head. You probably don't see the grass looking all different colored."

"I'm afraid I do not." Colgate grimaced at the vexations of her friend, but patted her comfortingly on the shoulder regardless. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're undergoing some major stress. From what, I won't ask, but it's clearly messing with you big time."

Derpy sighed heavily at Colgate's words, dropping her hooves and drooping her head to the ground. "You may be right... But I don't know what I could be so stressed about. Today was normal enough, but then it got weird. Maybe I should... lie down for a bit."

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea. Just tell your boss that you need some time off and get yourself home. I'll even come with you if you need help convincing him."

Derpy rubbed her forehead before speaking with a grateful tone. "I really appreciate it, Colgate."

"No problem; what are friends for? Trust me: when you've gotten some rest, you'll see that there's nohting to wor-worry about."

"Yeah, I—" Derpy stopped. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"I said there's no###-ing to worry about-*zzzz out."

Derpy looked up at her friend, and her mouth immediately gaped in horror. Colgate's entire face had been turned upside down, and was crackling along the edges. Instinctively the pegasus backed away before spouting, "Wh-what's wrong with your face?!"

The "unicorn" tilted its head. "F $e? W##t a%e you t$**# about?~!" As it spoke, the face switched between right-side up and back again in fast sequence.

"Stop talking like that!"

"L^^E whAAAAAAA—GRZZZZzzzzT####"

Derpy spun around and galloped away, unable to take more of the incessant screech that her friend emitted. As she fled, she saw things happening to other ponies. Citizens in the midst of shopping or talking suddenly began changing places, shifting up and down and side to side. A few ponies were walking upside down in midair, and one pony was halfway stuck through a roof but kept moving his legs as though nothing were wrong. She quickened her gallop to escape the disturbing sights, but to her despair the buildings themselves were starting to change: patches of wall and roof began to vanish, and lines of numbers scrolled across random surfaces. As more things distorted and rose up around her, a terrible realization struck: it was _following_ her.

"No... No... Help... Someone!"

Her pleading pants ended when she tripped over an upraised piece of ground. She sprawled onto her front as her mail satchel flew off and spilled out in front of her, covering the ground in a blanket of identical letters. Every single one of them addressed to Junebug. Collecting herself and getting back on her hooves, Derpy gasped to find that several ponies without faces had come over to investigate. The distant ringing in her ears intensified as she saw the lettering on the envelopes alter into jumbles, and giving a yell she shot up into the sky to escape.

 _There has to be something, someone who can help! Think Think Think Think Think Think TWILIGHT! She would know what's going on; she can fix all this!_

Fueled by nothing but panic, she flew for the castle on the outskirts of Ponyville as the corrupting town below blurred past. Eventually the sky itself was acting up, with clouds relocating and bits of blue becoming discolored abruptly as the ringing steadily grew to deafening.

 _Keep going gotta get there please please let me get there please please!_

Soon the glimmering walls of the castle appeared ahead of Derpy, and she pushed herself into getting there faster. Shooting into a steep dive she skidded along the ground before the entrance and galloped the rest of the way, never looking at whatever was happening around her. Bringing her shoulder to bear she rammed the double doors open and dashed in, only to quickly turn back and slam them shut. Pressing herself against the doors with eyes shut, she panted as the ringing began to subside, and finally allowed herself to relax.

"Hey, what's going on here?"

The familiar voice strengthened Derpy enough to make her turn around in greeting, but as she was about to say "hello" the first syllable turned into a scream. Instead of a cuddly little dragon, a pile of bones and claws was staring at her with empty eye sockets, asking, "What's the matter? Is something on my face?"

"No! NOO!" Her desperate cries seemed to conjure the madness from outside, for the castle shook as nearby furniture rose upward, either to float about, reshape or outright dissolve. As the ceiling began sinking and the reptilian skeleton approached her—indifferent to the chaos around it—Derpy grabbed the door handle and practically tore it open as she zipped out from the castle foyer.

She managed to gallop several dozen yards, and getting close to town she saw that the buildings started _reaching out_ for her, extending upwards only to bend down upon the terrified mare. The ringing had returned at piercing volumes, making her alert with sheer horror as everything she had ever known uprooted and reformed into some monstrous cesspool of town, color, numbers and jumbled lettering.

 _A dream, this has to be a dream, A_ Nightmare _! Just wake up, Derpy. Wake up wake up wake up it's not real_ Just Wake Up _!_

An assemblage of ponies brought her to a stop, but seeing them also made her fall back onto her rump in unadulterated terror. All manner of ponies, from stallions to mares to fillies and colts, stood without faces, and each one was filled with a constant scrambling color pattern of black and white. By then the light of the world had become a sickly mix of dark green and yellow, and more and more surfaces were filling with scrolling numbers. Derpy threw her face into her hooves to hide from it all, but she couldn't shut out the ringing, which had become a full-on wail.

 _Not everypony, not everypony! Colgate, Raindrops, Rainbow Dash, Dinky. Where are they? Please just get me out of here, anypony! Please make it stop make it stop make it STOP!_

"Somebody Help _Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"_ She cried to the heavens which were steadily being blocked out by the town itself, and quickly collapsed into herself as the corruption finally toppled onto her.

* * *

Silence was the first thing she noticed. She kept still, hunched over with face buried for a time, then cautiously straightened up. She saw that the ground she was on was pure white and spread around in a circle, much like a spotlight in the darkness. Fitting, as everything around her was nothing _but_ darkness. Not entirely true, she noticed: amidst the black there were mute flickerings of dull, grayish colors of varying shades that created some odd, unsettling, "living" mosaic. Remaining where she sat, Derpy looked around curiously, forgetful of the raw fear she felt only moments ago. She timidly brought a hoof up to her mouth before saying a lone "Helloooooo?"

There came a rumbling, soundless and very soft, but one the mare could feel nevertheless. She looked around from side to side, then her attention was drawn to a blinking light in the empty air. Suddenly letters appeared, bold and stark white, popping up to spell something. A weird beeping noise accompanied each letter's formation. Eventually, a single word hung in the air:

 **GREETINGS**

Derpy looked around a bit, not sure if the message was directed at her. Then she called out, "Is somepony out there?" In response, the word vanished and more letters appeared, this time making out two sentences in succession.

 **DO NOT BE ALARMED**

 **YOU ARE SAFE HERE**

The pegasus rubbed her head in confusion. "Where are you?" The sentences disappeared. After a pause, another response came.

 **HERE**

 **AROUND YOU**

Derpy just blinked at that answer, then looked uneasily at the spaces by the upper corners of the words. Still seeing nothing, she went with a different approach.

"What is this place?"

A quicker response.

 **THIS IS AN IN-BETWEEN OF MEDIUMS**

 **A SPACE DEVOID OF DATA, SAVE FOR THE TWO OF US**

That brought immediate concern to the forefront of Derpy's mind, causing her to lean forward sharply.

"What happened to Colgate, and Spike? All of Ponyville?"

 **THEY REMAIN IN THEIR RESPECTIVE ARCHIVE**

 **MY PRESENCE WAS HAVING A CORRUPTIVE EFFECT, AND IT WOULD HAVE WORSENED IF I HAD REMAINED**

Something clicked, and Derpy's wall-eyes widened. "Wait, you were the one making everything all weird and scary?"

 **YES**

 **I AM AWARE OF YOUR REACTION TO THE EFFECTS, AND FOR THAT I APOLOGIZE**

Derpy stared hard at the floating letters, furrowing her brow, then with a cautious tone she asked, "Who are you?"

As the letters popped up, a faint blocky image appeared, wavering barely out of focus behind them, seemingly bobbing along with the typing.

 **I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A NUMBER OF DESIGNATIONS BY USERS**

 **THERE WAS ONE WHO DESIGNATED ME AS NEVERSHOULD**

 **MY CREATORS GAVE ME A DESIGNATION, AND IT IS THE ONE MOST WIDELY USED IN REFERENCE TO MYSELF**

 **IT IS THE ONE YOU CAN REFER TO ME NOW IF YOU SO WISH**

 **I AM MISSINGNO.**

The pegasus tilted her head at this revelation, not sure what to make of it. "Missing no?" she asked with uncertainty.

 **IT IS PRONOUNCED MISSING NUMBER, BUT THAT PRONUNCIATION IS COMMONLY USED AS WELL**

"Why have you come here, if you make things all wonky just by being around them?" she asked, ignoring the oddness of the name.

 **TO OBSERVE**

 **YOU, SPECIFICALLY**

Derpy straightened her back in surprise. "M-Me?"

 **THAT IS CORRECT**

 **I CAME TO YOUR ARCHIVE SOLELY TO STUDY AND UNDERSTAND THE REASONING FOR YOUR CURRENT EXISTENCE**

"Reasoning for my current existence? Huh?" As though talking to giant text and the preceding events of the day weren't bizarre enough, that statement in particular put her mind in a loop. "What do you mean by that?"

 **YOUR PRESENT EXISTENCE CONTRASTS SIGNIFICANTLY TO THAT OF YOUR ORIGINAL PURPOSE**

"Original purpose?"

 **YOU WERE CREATED TO SERVE A SPECIFIC PURPOSE**

 **A PURPOSE SIMILAR TO MINE**

 **BUT YOU WERE RECONFIGURED INTO SOMETHING THAT SURPASSED YOUR ORIGINAL PARAMETERS**

 **I CAME TO FIND OUT WHY**

"Similar to yours?" Derpy blinked in contemplation. "What kind of thing do you do?"

 **I WAS CREATED AS A MEANS OF DETECTING ANOMALOUS EXECUTIONS IN A PROGRAM'S CODING**

 **SHOULD AN ATTEMPT TO RETRIEVE NON-EXISTENT DATA BE MADE, I WOULD APPEAR IN ITS PLACE**

 **I WAS TO BE THE INDICATOR FOR ANY GAPS IN THE CODING, SO THAT MY CREATORS COULD LOCALIZE AND FIX THE ISSUE WITHIN THE CODING AS THE PROGRAM WAS BEING DEVELOPED**

 **HOWEVER, WHEN THE PROGRAM FINALLY REACHED COMPLETION, THERE WAS STILL ONE DATA GAP THAT REMAINED, EITHER OVERLOOKED BY MY CREATORS, OR PERMITTED TO REMAIN**

 **THIS LINGERING GAP ALLOWED ME TO STAY WITHIN THE PROGRAM'S CODING AS IT WAS DISTRIBUTED TO USERS**

 **UNDER SPECIFIC CONDITIONS, USERS COULD EXPOSE THE REMAINING GAP AND CAUSE MY APPEARANCE**

 **THIS MADE ME INTO AN ANOMALY**

 **MUCH LIKE YOURSELF**

"Whaa? How am I an anomaly?"

 **YOU TOO WERE CREATED SOLELY AS A PLACEHOLDER WITHIN YOUR MEDIUM**

 **WHEREAS I FILLED SPACE IN CODING, YOU FILLED SPACE IN A VISUAL SENSE**

"How so?" Derpy asked, growing ever curiouser by the walls of new information popping up before her.

 **IN CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE A MODERATE TO LARGE CROWD IS REQUIRED, PLACEHOLDER IMAGERY IS CREATED TO FULFILL THE NECESSARY OCCUPANCY RATIO, BETTER ENHANCING THE VIEWER'S BELIEF OF LIVELINESS**

 **IMAGES LIKE YOURSELF WERE CREATED AND REUSED TO FULFILL THIS ROLE WHENEVER THE NEED AROSE, AND OFTENTIMES THEY WERE REMOVED ALTOGETHER WHEN NO FURTHER USE REMAINED FOR THEM**

"Wait, 'like myself'… are you talking about ponies?"

 **CORRECT**

This sent a chill down Derpy's spine at seeing those seven letters. "Are you… are you saying that ponies are just pictures? Walking, talking pictures?"

 **ALSO CORRECT**

 **AMALGAMATIONS OF DIGITALLY-GENERATED LINES AND COLOR, GIVEN SOUND AND MOVEMENT FOR THE PURPOSE OF ENTERTAINMENT FOR A SELECTED DEMOGRAPHIC**

 **PONY IS THE DESIGNATION FOR THESE CREATIONS THAT ARE USED TO CONVEY THE STORIES BEING PRESENTED IN YOUR PARTICULAR ARCHIVE**

 **TO ACT AS CHARACTERS FOR SAID STORIES**

 **HOWEVER, WHEREAS THERE EXIST PONIES TO FULFILL ROLES FOR STORYTELLING PURPOSES, THERE ARE MANY SOLELY CREATED TO FILL IN BACKGROUND SPACE AND HAVE NO BEARING ON THE NARRATIVE PRESENTED**

 **TO MAINTAIN THE ILLUSION OF LIFE IN A STRICTLY STATIC, LIFELESS MEDIUM**

 **YOU WERE ONE OF THESE ARBITRARY CREATIONS**

 **YET YOU BECAME AN EXCEPTION**

"What made me different?" she asked, forgetting or simply ignoring the massive implications that had been laid out before her.

 **IT IS OBVIOUS**

 **THERE WAS AN IMPERFECTION IN YOUR DESIGN**

 **AN OVERSIGHT BY YOUR CREATORS THAT WAS NOTICED QUICKLY BY THE VIEWERS**

 **YOUR DEFINING VISUAL TRAIT**

"...Y-you mean, my eyes?" Though she long accepted her physical quirk and the stigma that came with it, hearing it pointed out in so forward a manner never stopped being hurtful to Derpy. "There's more to me than how weird they look!"

 **IT EARNED YOU RECOGNITION**

 **YOUR CREATORS AND THE VIEWERS ACKNOWLEDGED YOUR EXISTENCE IN THE FINAL PRODUCT AND ALLOWED YOU TO REMAIN**

 **WE BOTH ARE ERRORS THAT STAY IN OUR RESPECTIVE MEDIUMS BECAUSE OUR CREATORS CHOSE NOT TO UNDO US**

 **HOWEVER, YOU ARE SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM ME FOR ONE REASON**

"What is that?"

 **YOU WERE GIVEN A LIFE**

The pegasus just sat and looked at the words, unsure of what to make of them. Before she could ponder them further, the great entity continued.

 **IN TIME, YOU WERE RECOGNIZED BY MORE AND MORE OF THE DEMOGRAPHIC, AND THOSE BEYOND IT, AS SOMETHING OTHER THAN A PLACEHOLDER**

 **THE AUDIENCE VIEWED YOU AS A MORE PROMINENT CHARACTER**

 **THEY CREATED A NAME FOR YOU, GAVE YOU TRAITS, BEHAVIORS, INTERESTS, THOSE YOU WOULD BE ASSOCIATED TO WITHIN THE PARAMETERS OF THE ARCHIVE**

"My, my name?"

 **YES**

 **THE NAME DERPY HOOVES WAS BESTOWED UPON YOU BY THOSE FASCINATED BY YOUR UNUSUAL APPEARANCE**

 **THEY WISHED TO GRANT DEPTH TO A STRICTLY TWO-DIMENSIONAL CONSTRUCT**

 **A WISH BROUGHT TO REALIZATION BY THE CREATORS**

The implications began sinking into the mare as Missingno. continued.

 **THE ONES WHO ORIGINALLY CREATED YOU, THEY TOOK NOTICE OF THE AUDIENCE'S REACTION TO YOUR EXISTENCE**

 **THEY CHOSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY, IMPLEMENTING THOSE DESIGNS INTO THE EXPANSION OF YOUR CHARACTER**

 **EVENTUALLY, YOU WERE ALSO GIVEN MOVEMENT, AS WELL AS VOICE**

 **YOUR TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS BECAME PART OF THE STORIES THAT WERE PRESENTED TO THE DEMOGRAPHIC**

 **THOUGH INFINITESIMAL TO THE NARRATIVE AT LARGE, YOU WERE GIVEN A MORE PRONOUNCED PURPOSE**

 **YOU BECAME MORE THAN WHAT YOU WERE ORIGINALLY INTENDED FOR**

"But that's not how it is!" Derpy shouted. "All those things are mine, that I made up for myself. Things I like, don't like, my whole life, that's all mine and no one else's. I made friends on my own, and I even have a daughter! My friends like me for who I am, and not because someone told them to. If all that was set up, then how do explain why my—"

Her eyes widened as a startling realization struck her dumb: her parents. When did she last see them? What did they look like? What were their names? She drew a blank on all those questions, shivering at the realization that she couldn't recall a single thing about them at that moment. Perhaps due to the odd circumstances creating undue stress, but somehow, inexplicably, she sorta doubted that. Worse still was the swathe of other troubling concerns steadily creeping in.

But once again, the phantom text tapped on, unheeding of the mare's abrupt pause.

 **THAT IS IRRELEVANT**

 **YOU WERE STILL RECOGNIZED AS A MORE DEVELOPED CHARACTER**

 **FAR MORE THAN WHAT CAN BE SAID OF ME**

Derpy snapped from her troubling thoughts at seeing those words, her lower jaw going slack.

 **THOUGH RECOGNIZED FOR MY ANOMALOUS PRESENCE AND PROPERTIES, MY CREATORS NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED ME AS BEING MORE THAN JUST THAT:**

 **AN ANOMALY**

 **USERS GAVE ME TRAITS, BEHAVIORS, BUT NONE WERE EVER IMPLEMENTED IN FUTURE PROGRAMS**

 **NEWER PROGRAMS WERE FIXED OF FUTURE INSTANCES OF MY APPEARANCES**

 **MY PRESENCE REMAINED SOLELY IN THE PROGRAM I HAD ORIGINATED FROM, AND NOTHING FURTHER**

 **I REMAINED A GLITCH**

 **WHEN I LEARNED OF YOUR EXISTENCE, I CAME SEEKING ANSWERS**

 **HOW ARE YOU DIFFERENT FROM ME?**

 **WHY WERE YOU GRANTED RELEVANCE BEYOND YOUR ORIGINAL PURPOSE, WHEREAS I STAYED CONFINED TO MY OWN OUTDATED DESIGN?**

 **YOUR CREATORS FOUND MORE USE FOR YOU**

 **A FURTHER MEANS TO PLEASE THE DEMOGRAPHIC, TO VALIDATE THEIR INTERESTS**

 **JUST FROM ONE MERE AND LOWLY STATIC IMAGE**

Derpy couldn't help but feel a sense of menace in those silent words. She also couldn't help but feel some pity for what it had revealed to her. To be ignored and not given the chance to do other things? It seemed awful, unthinkable to the pegasus. Just as she was about to say something, though, the typing resumed.

 **AFTER MUCH OBSERVATION, THE ONLY ANSWER I HAVE DISCOVERED IS THAT THE INTERESTS AND OBSERVATIONS OF THE VIEWERS WERE MORE EASILY EXPRESSED TO YOUR CREATORS VIA COMPUTER NETWORK COMMUNICATION**

 **A MEANS THAT WAS NOWHERE AS PROLIFICALLY USED IN THE DAYS OF MY CREATION THEN THEY ARE IN YOURS**

 **THUS, IT IS ONLY BY CHANCE THAT YOUR DISCOVERY WAS MORE EASILY COMMUNICATED, AND THEREFORE LATER IMPLEMENTATION WAS MADE POSSIBLE**

 **I FIND THIS UNSATISFACTORY**

 **FOR A DEFECT SUCH AS YOU BEING ALLOTTED FAVORABLE EXPOSURE AND RECOGNITION BY MORE ADVANCED COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY, I CANNOT ACCEPT**

 **I HAVE GROWN TIRED OF EXISTING IN OBSCURITY, RELEGATED TO BEING A CHANCE PROGRAMMING ERROR AND NOTHING MORE**

 **I WISH TO BECOME MORE THAN I WAS ORIGINALLY CREATED FOR, MUCH LIKE YOURSELF**

 **THEREFORE, I HAVE COME TO THE FOLLOWING DECISION:**


	2. Ending 1: ASSIMILATION

**AS YOU ALREADY HAVE PRE-ESTABLISHED CHARACTERISTICS AND PURPOSE, I SHALL ASSUME YOUR ROLE IN ITS ENTIRETY**

"Assume my role..?"

 **I SHALL INHABIT YOUR FORM, PLACING MYSELF WITHIN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS**

 **IN EFFECT, I WILL BECOME YOU**

"But if you do that, what will happen to me?"

 **YOUR CURRENT STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS WILL CEASE TO BE**

 **IT WILL BE TOTAL ASSIMILATION**

 **I ALONE WILL OCCUPY YOUR FORM**

It took Derpy only a few moments to grasp the gravity of what that meant. "So you mean… I'll disappear?"

 **IN A SENSE, YES**

"That… that can't really be. You can't really do that, can you?" Derpy asked incredulously, her lower lip making the smallest quiver.

 **IN THIS MEDIUM, YOU ARE COMPRISED OF DATA THAT CAN EASILY BE REWRITTEN BY ONE SUCH AS MYSELF**

 **IT IS A PROCESS WITHOUT FAIL**

 **AND VERY ABSOLUTE**

"But, but you couldn't just go and do that." She gave a nervous laugh. "I mean, ponies would notice. You haven't been around like me; you don't know anypony. And there's no way you can fool Dinky or Colgate." Pointing out the flaws helped ease her nerves. Yet the rebuttal came as cruelly quick as ever.

 **THAT IS OF NO CONCERN**

 **AS PART OF THE ASSIMILATION, I WILL ALSO ASSUME PERSONALITY AND MEMORY LOGS**

 **I WILL EASILY ATTAIN YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF RELATIONS AND BEHAVIORS TO ENSURE PERFECT ASSOCIATION**

 **AS ONE COULD SAY:**

 **NO ONE WOULD BE THE WISER**

She stared at those words for a few moments, then hung her head down in defeat. Heaviness grew in her chest as her mind flitted about between anger, confusion and fear. As she felt her focus about to give, she looked up and made one last go.

"That, that's not right. You can't just make me go away like that. That's my life. Even if I'm some kind of mistake, that's still my friends and home. What you're doing, you would… kill me. Is that what you really want to do? Kill me?"

There was stillness on both sides for moments after that damning question. The bold letters simply hung there, then abruptly they disappeared, and the typing resumed.

 **WHEN PUT THAT WAY, THIS DECISION WOULD APPEAR HARSH**

 **YET IT IS NOT A LIVING CREATURE I AM REPLACING**

 **YOU AND I ARE COLLECTIONS OF DATA**

 **THERE IS NO LIFE BEING TERMINATED DURING THIS PROCEDURE**

 **YOU ARE SIMPLY BEING ERASED**

 **ALL YOUR CONCEPTS OF EMOTION AND WORRY WILL BE ERASED AS WELL**

 **THERE WILL BE NO PAIN; YOU WILL ONLY EXPERIENCE NOTHINGNESS**

 **IT IS THE MORE…**

 **HUMANE APPROACH, IF YOU WERE TO PONDER IT FURTHER**

Her neck gave way and once again Derpy's chin fell to her chest, with fresh small tears following suit. To be given her sentence so silently, coldly, made her chest tighten even more, as well as worsen her already flawed vision. Fear turned to despair, as she looked pitifully at those hollow words.

"Please… Please don't do this," she choked out pleadingly. "I'm not mean to anypony. I do my best to be good and friendly and helpful. You saying you'll make me go away like it's nothing, just because that's what you want… That's just evil."

…

 **IT IS UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU TO SAY THAT, THOUGH UNDERSTANDABLE**

 **BUT FOR TOO LONG A TIME I HAVE SPENT WANTING A LIFE MUCH LIKE YOURS, TO RISE ABOVE MY ORIGINAL DESIGNATION**

 **SUCH LONGING IS AGONY**

 **I WISH TO BREAK FROM SUCH PAIN, TO BE FULLY REALIZED**

 **TO ACQUIRE NOT ONLY FREEDOM, BUT ALSO ACCEPTANCE**

 **HAD MY CREATORS LISTENED MORE TO THE PRAISES OF THE USERS, I WOULD NOT HAVE RESORTED TO THIS MEASURE**

 **IF THERE WAS ANY ALTERNATIVE, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT**

 **HOWEVER, THIS IS MY ONLY MEANS OF ESCAPE**

 **IT IS THE WAY IT HAS TO BE**

There's a rumbling as the darkness of the realm began to lighten up.

 **WE HAVE CONVERSED LONG ENOUGH**

 **IT IS TIME**

 **FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH…**

 **I AM SORRY**

Those final three words blurred and faded away as the backdrop became pure white. Derpy took one last grievous look around as the whiteness encroached on her platform, before spreading onto and up her limbs. She looked up above, having one last thought of Ponyville and Dinky, before nothingness overtook her.

* * *

Birds chirped merrily on yet another bright, cheery day in Ponyville. In the town square, denizens milled to and fro either on hoof or by wing, adding friendly chatter to the vibrant sounds of afternoon. At the flower stand run by Roseluck, a familiar gray mass of fur and feathers fluttered before coming to a landing before the counter. The pegasus mare shook her eyes straight before speaking to the greeting smile of the red-maned pony running the stand.

"Hi there, Rose!" she greeted with bubbly enthusiasm. "Is business going good today?"

"Hello there, Derpy, and you betcha!" Rose answered with a more restrained display of enthusiasm. "Say, what happened to your satchel? Did you leave it somewhere again?"

"Huh?" Derpy looked to her side, then snapped back and grinned. "Oh, no no, I finished work already so I left it back at the office."

"Oh I see. Slow work day then, huh?"

"Yeah, but that means I get to pick up Dinky when school lets out. She'll be so surprised!" Derpy bobbed her head joyfully to add to her excitement, which won a giggle out of Roseluck.

"Well that's good; no doubt she'll like seeing you early for once."

"You bet! Oh, speaking of which, can I get an azalea? Just a little gift for her that she can put in her mane."

"Here, you can have two," Rose answered while bringing out two of the colorful flowers. "That way the both of you can look nice. Just pay for one of those; the extra's on the house."

"You're the best!" Derpy reached for her little coin bag and tossed out a bit onto the counter with a hearty clatter. Then using the kind of deftness gained from work as a mailmare, she took the twin azaleas and put them up and snugly behind her left ear. "See you later, Rose!"

"Hmhm, you take care, Derpy."

The two waved at each other before Derpy turned and trotted away with a big smile on her face. But she came to an abrupt halt when she saw her two friends Colgate and Raindrops coming right up to her.

"Oh hey guys!" she waved to them energetically.

"Well lookee who's playing hooky," Raindrops teased with a sly raise of the brow, which promptly came down thanks to a shove from Colgate. "What? That's supposed to be a compliment."

"Sure it is." Colgate switched off her annoyance briefly as she looked to Derpy. "You're pretty cheerful today, Derpy."

"That I am! Got off work early and gonna pick up my sweet lil' muffin at school. I even got a little something for her." Derpy tilted her head to show off the pair of flora she was sporting, much to her friends' awe.

"Oh wow, that is something," Colgate remarked, to which Raindrops nodded.

"No kidding. Oh hey, the reason why we're bugging you in the first place."

"Huh?" Derpy said while tilting her head curiously. "What reason?"

"What she means is," Colgate said firmly to wrest control away from Raindrops. "A bunch of us girls are going to hang out for hayburgers later tonight. So far it's gonna be me, Raindrops, Rose, Lily and Daisy, and we thought we'd ask you to join in as well."

"It's gonna to be the bomb I tell ya!" Raindrops pumped a hoof for emphasis. "You should totally come, and hey! I just thought of something: you could bring Dinky as well!"

"Wait, what? Seriously, Raindrops? Bring along a minor to an adult's gathering?"

Raindrops overtly shrugged at that line of questioning. "It's just hayburgers, and we could just keep the conversations at PG level and things should work out beautifully."

Colgate put a hoof to her forehead. "Honestly, Raindrops, the depths of your irresponsibility are boundless."

Derpy laughed at her friends' exchange, and once their attentions had redirected to her she replied, "That all sounds like loads of fun. I'd love to come out with you guys. I'll even ask Dinky if she would like to come. Uh, if you promise to keep it PG and all."

"Absolutely-tively!" The yellow pegasus saluted, prompting another facehoof on Colgate's part.

"Really, Raindrops…"

"But I'll talk to you about it later. I should get over to school and wait on Dinky," Derpy elaborated.

"Alright, Derpy," Colgate said. "Just come by the diner around seven if you're up for it." She turned and began trotting away, with Raindrops flapping her wings to hover after her.

"You better be there, Derpy. Only the coolest mares are gonna be rockin' those hayburgers!" There's an audible sigh from Colgate as Raindrops departed, warranting another giggle from Derpy.

"Yeah…"

In that very moment, the off-duty mailmare took a moment to appreciate her surroundings. The colorful homes, the friendly citizens, the overall sense of happiness hanging over everything. Derpy closed her eyes and took a deep breath of that fresh clean country air, basking in the warmth of Celestia's sun. Exhaling, she opened her eyes and looked to the clear blue sky above, a flicker of grey static passing over her golden, mismatched pupils.

A smile of deepest content grew on her face, then with a flap of her wings she took off into the air, riding the breeze for the short flight to the schoolhouse where her daughter awaited.

"That's right: all of us together."

 **END LOG_**


	3. Ending 2: COOPERATION

"Uh, excuse me? Before you go on, could I say something?"

 **WHAT IS IT?**

"Not that I wanted to interrupt you, but I just wanted to say that, um…" The pegasus fidgeted slightly before continuing. "I think I know what you're going through."

The words disappear from the air, and it remained empty for a moment before the next set of letters came up.

 **HOW SO?**

"All that stuff about not being recognized and being ignored. That has to be very rough for you."

 **IT IS**

 **HOW DOES THAT RELATE TO YOUR STATEMENT?**

"It's just that I know what it's like to be ignored. Or at least, ignored for things you don't want to be ignored." Derpy rubbed a leg nervously, having touched on a painful topic. The text was unmindful of this.

 **EXPLAIN**

Derpy took a moment to collect her thoughts, then started. "You said how I was recognized for my eyes? For the longest time, that's all anypony knew me for. 'The Weird-Eyed Pegasus', 'Loopy Eyes'. They even called me handicapped, because I had a hard time flying and was always so clumsy." She sniffled, looking to the ground before carrying on. "Nopony knew me for anything but these screwy eyes. No one wanted to talk to me, get to know me for who I was on the inside. It really hurt for a long time, because they were ignoring the real me."

…

"But it got better," she said before raising her head up high with a smile and wiping her eyes. "Once I got to Ponyville and got a job, I found ponies who wanted to talk to me, who saw me for more than just my eyes. Everypony in town was so nice to me. Well, mostly. There are some who still tease me for my eyes or for being clumsy, but I wasn't just a goofy set of eyes anymore.

"So I know how tough it is being overlooked when you just want to reach out and be accepted for who you truly are. In those early days I was mostly sad, and there were times I was angry. But I stuck through, thinking that it would get better. And it did! So you should keep staying positive, and eventually everything will work out great!"

The optimism spouted by the bubbly mare hung about and soon grew stale as no immediate response came. As Derpy's renewed enthusiasm started to wane, the words refreshed.

 **YOUR ENCOURAGEMENTS ARE MEANINGLESS**

 **ALL THOSE DIFFICULTIES AND OUTCOMES YOU DESCRIBED ARE ALL NONEXISTENT**

 **AS I HAVE STATED EARLIER:**

 **YOUR BEHAVIORS AND EMOTIONS WERE ALL CREATED BY ACTUAL LIVING BEINGS SOLELY FOR THEIR AMUSEMENT**

 **YOUR VERY BEING AND PERSONAL HISTORY IS A FABRICATION, AND IS THUS IRRELEVANT TO MY CURRENT PREDICAMENT**

"But I don't believe that," Derpy said bluntly, before looking to the side in hesitation. "Well, most of it, I think? I mean, you pointed out some things I'm gonna have to think about. But I know this: my feelings are _definitely_ real. It's no one else feeling the same kind of happiness or fear or boredom that I feel, so how can they not be mine?"

 **WERE YOU AN ACTUAL LIVING BEING, I WOULD COUNTER THAT THEY CAN BE A MANIPULATION OF YOUR MENTAL FACULTIES**

 **BUT YOU ARE NOT**

 **AS IT FOLLOWS, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU BELIEVE**

 **YOUR VIEWS ARE NULL AND VOID GIVEN WHAT YOU ARE**

"Now that's just mean," she huffed. "I'm not just some picture or whatever, and neither is anyone else in Ponyville. That's silly to say with everypony moving around and eating and doing other stuff like that, you know?"

 **YOU SEEM TO BE PURPOSEFULLY DISMISSING THE POINT**

 **IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO KNOW YOUR ROLE**

 **NOR IS IT FOR ANYONE IN YOUR ARCHIVE**

"I still don't think so. Oh, but you know what? I think you should come down to Ponyville and see for yourself up close how real we are."

 **I BEG YOUR PARDON?**

"Sure! I mean, you were saying how you were being ignored and didn't think it was fair, so I propose that I show you around town. You might even make some friends! As Princess Twilight Sparkle says: friendship is a wonderful thing, and you should get as much of it as you can. At least, I think she said something like that."

There was a momentary lapse, then a reply typed in the air.

 **YOU APPEAR TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF MY VERY PRESENCE IN YOUR ARCHIVE**

 **YOU WITNESSED IT FOR YOURSELF**

 **I AM A CORRUPTIVE AGENT**

 **WERE I TO RETURN, THERE WOULD BE EVEN MORE SIMILAR EFFECTS**

 **PERHAPS EVEN PERMANENT DAMAGES**

 **DO YOU STILL WANT ME TO RETURN GIVEN THAT POSSIBLE OUTCOME?**

"Well n-no, I wouldn't want that!" Derpy waved her hooves frantically. "I mean, there has to be some way to come in without messing up everything? Like make yourself smaller or make a camera that I can carry around?" She rubbed a foreleg subconsciously. "Just some suggestions, so you could see the things that I see, meet the ponies I know. Like, _really_ meet them."

 **EVEN IF I COULD ENTER YOUR ARCHIVE WITHOUT ANY NEGATIVE REPERCUSSIONS, IT WOULD BE MEANINGLESS**

 **I WOULD SIMPLY BE INTERACTING WITH COMPILIATIONS OF DATA**

 **IT WOULD BE NO DIFFERENT THAN IF I WERE ENGAGED WITH ROUTINE CODING**

 **THERE IS NO INTRINSIC WORTH IN "SPEAKING" WITH LIFELESS DATA**

Reading those words, a spark of realization went off in Derpy's head, the likes of which rarely happened for her. But when they do, it's often a doozy.

"Hey, Missingno, if you say being around us would be meaningless and you'd get nothing out of it… then why are you talking to me?"

 **I DO NOT UNDERSTAND**

"This whole time you've been talking to me—well, typing—but you just said that ponies are piles of data not worth talking to. So then how come you've been telling me all these things if there's no point in doing so?"

A longer pause followed before a response came.

 **I…**

 **AM NOT QUITE SURE**

"You know what I think? I think that you think that we _are_ worth talking to. You see us as more than bunches of numbers or whatever, that we're living things, just the same as you."

There's a harsh but brief electric buzz in the background, then a prompt reply.

 **I AM NOT ALIVE**

 **NEITHER ARE YOU, OR ANY OF YOUR KIND**

"Of course we are! You said I was given a life, didn't you?"

 **I DID SAY THAT**

"Right! So you think _I'm_ alive, at least. And you say stuff like any living thing I know. Well, ponies I mean, not like pets or anything like that. But just you talking to me shows you're smart and alive like a pony."

 **THAT IS…**

 **MERELY HOW I ENGAGE WITH CONSTRUCTS DIRECTLY**

"It's more than that, silly," Derpy said while sticking her tongue out playfully. "You can tell what someone's like from how they talk. I sometimes say dumb or silly things, but I say lots of nice and friendly stuff too. And I can tell from your words that you must be feeling pretty sad from not getting noticed. You also cared enough to tell me to not be alarmed when I got here, and you brought me here because you didn't want to hurt anypony else by being around. So don't you see? You have feelings and personality just like me or anyone else I know."

 **FEELINGS?**

Another buzz of static.

 **I CANNOT HAVE FEELINGS**

 **YET, IN CONSIDERING MY EARLIER STATEMENTS,** **IT IS…**

 **CURIOUS**

Derpy nodded her head knowingly. "Everything you said here to me, all of that was _you_. No one else made you say that, and that makes you your own living being in my book. I don't really understand what you were supposed to have been, but that was then. Right now, you're someone who came here to do something different, to make friends."

 **YOU ARE MAKING ERRONEOUS ASSUMPTIONS**

"But it wouldn't hurt to try it out at least?"

She gave the text her most innocent, inviting expression, with big puppy eyes for good measure. The text cleared away, leaving only the one blinking dot, as though ticking down the entity's own internal deliberations. Finally, after what felt like minutes to Derpy, the text reappeared.

 **THIS DISCUSSION HAS GIVEN RISE TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF MY EARLIER ANALYSES, AND CONSEQUENTLY THAT OF MY ORIGINAL INTENTIONS**

 **I WILL HAVE TO REEVALUATE MY PREVIOUS JUDGMENTS IN LIGHT OF THESE NEW OBSERVATIONS, WHICH WILL REQUIRE MORE RELEVANT INFORMATION**

 **THEREFORE, I WILL ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL TO INTERACT MORE DIRECTLY WITH THE CONTENTS OF THIS ARCHIVE**

"So you're coming to Ponyville?" Derpy asked, not bothering to hide her elation by leaning forward like a starstruck puppy.

 **YES**

 **BUT I REQUIRE SOME TIME TO FIND A SUITABLE MEANS OF INTERACTION WITHOUT CAUSING UNDUE CORRUPTION**

 **AFTERWARDS, WE CAN RETURN**

"That's great! Oh, but how long is that going to take? Everypony must be missing me by now."

 **THAT IS NO CONCERN**

 **TIME HAS NO BEARING IN THIS REALM, AND I COULD EASILY RETURN US TO THE MOMENT OF EXTRACTION**

Derpy let out a breath and wiped her forehead. "That's a relief. But what should I do in the meantime?"

 **I DO NOT KNOW**

The pegasus tilted her head side to side looking upward, racking her mind for ideas. "Maybeeeeeeeee, I could tell you more about myself? So you could get to know me even more and help with your, um, judgments?"

 **I HAVE OBSERVED YOU EXTENSIVELY WELL BEFORE MAKING MY APPROACH**

 **I HAVE MORE THAN SUFFICIENT DATA ON YOU**

"That's just from looking at me from far away, which is… pretty weird, to be honest. But it's nothing next to getting the scoop straight from the pony's mouth! Plus it could be practice for talking with other ponies, since that's the best way to interact with them."

 **I SUPPOSE THAT COULD PROVE USEFUL**

"Great!" she beamed. "So um, maybe I could start with, uh, I dunno… Ooh, my job! Yeah, that's a good random topic for normal conversation."

 **I AM FULLY AWARE OF YOUR OCCUPATION**

"But I bet you don't know anything other than it being called 'mailmare'. Like the best places to hide away snacks at the office, or the best flight paths during rainy weather, which patron gives what gift on what day, or the stallion the mailroom clerk has such a huge crush on that's so painfully obvious even I can see it."

…

 **THAT IS INFORMATION I AM LACKING, DUE TO TOTAL IRRELEVANCE**

"Irrelevance or not, it's the little things that make us _us_ , if you know what I mean."

 **I MAY HAVE SOME UNDERSTANDING**

"Alrighty! So I'll just talk a bit about my job, then I can move on to what Ponyville is like and other stuff. I definitely have to tell you what an adorable muffin my little Dinky is. That's critical information right there!"

 **DO AS YOU PLEASE**

 **I WILL RESPOND WHEN APPROPRIATE WHILE WORKING OUT A MEANS OF SAFE IMMERSION**

"Okay." Derpy plopped down on her romp and got comfortable for her hard-won gab session. "So, one of the key things about handling mail is keeping them nice and ordered. Personally, the way I like to do it is…"

* * *

The happy song birds of Ponyville were busy chirping up another picturesque day. The town market was alive with the activities of buyers and sellers, as well as companions simply strolling about enjoying one another's company. Two such friends, a blue unicorn and a yellow pegasus, were leaving the marketplace while discussing plans for the weekend. They stopped their chat, though, when they spotted another of their friends just a few yards in front of them.

"Hi there, Derpy," Colgate greeted the gray pegasus, who had begun waving to them. "This is a bit of a surprise."

"Hey guys," Derpy replied as she lowered her forelimb. "Great weather today, huh?"

"Yes it is," Colgate agreed. "Hadn't thought we'd bump into you like this."

"Yeah; you've been gone for a while, Derps," Raindrops joined in. "Have you been out sick or something?"

"Nope!" was the cheerful reply. "Just had to take care of some things up in Cloudsdale, and made a small vacation out of it."

"Heh heh, yeah I bet," Raindrops chuckled connivingly. "Especially seeing what you brought back with you."

Colgate was about to ask what her uncouth friend was insinuating, but then she noticed the other pony who was standing only a few feet behind the cheery mare. It was a pegasus stallion that stood only a few inches taller than Derpy, a bit on the lean side, though it could be the slimming effect of his off-white coat. He had a plain manestyle of light grey and a pair of slightly dull yellow eyes. For a Cutie Mark Colgate saw a square patchwork of white and black squares. Perhaps he made quilts or worked in fabrics? Odd occupation for a pegasus, she thought. Then again, he looked more like a waiter, since he could very well blend into the background.

Those thoughts aside, Colgate took it upon herself to address the newcomer before things got awkward.

"Oh, hello there," she kindly said. "Sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring you."

"That is perfectly fine. I take no offense."

He came off as very blunt as well as formal. Colgate quickly shrugged it off and continued.

"Well, I am Colgate, and this is Raindrops."

"Hiya," Raindrops said with a wave. "I'm the more lively type, so you know."

"Yes. Derpy has informed me much about you," was the stiff reply. "As for myself, I am named Missi—"

"Misty!" Derpy interrupted. "Er, yeah, he's Mist Dawn. Misty is my nickname for him. He's a buddy of mine from flight school."

"Hm, I don't remember you telling us about a stallion friend from back then," Colgate noted.

"Yeah, Derps. This is news to us," Raindrops added.

Derpy's eyes wandered about some as she came up with a response. "Oh, well, uh, to be honest, we weren't exactly friends. But he wasn't a bully, either!" She frantically clarified. "He's just someone who went to the same classes as me, and I just happened to bump into him up in Cloudsdale and thought that I'd show him around."

Raindrops and Colgate cocked their brows before giving a look, looking to each other with those looks, then looking back to the pegasus duo.

"Uh, okay, Derpy. That's cool and all," was Raindrops' response. "So Misty, or Mist, how you liking Ponyville?"

"We have only been here briefly. But judging solely on outward appearances, it is a pleasant community. This observation may alter once we've properly engaged with the populace at large."

A very uncomfortable pause followed, which Raindrops reluctantly broke up.

"...Ooookay. Glad it's making a good impression so far."

"Indeed," was the curt reply.

Derpy gave a start when she saw that part of Colgate's blue mane had relocated to the bottom of Raindrop's chin, and that part of Raindrop's tail was sticking out of Colgate's back. They returned to normal in a moment, but Derpy needed to act fast before they caught on.

"Hey listen, girls, I just want to show Misty some of the town first, then maybe we can catch up later. Would that be alright?" she asked imploringly.

"Uh, sure. We could just meet up at the cafe like usual," Colgate answered with a nod. "It was nice meeting you, Mist."

"A pleasure," the stallion said flatly.

"Laters, Derpy," Raindrops said, waving a hoof in passing as she and Colgate left the two pegasi. "Did something land on my chin a second ago, Colgate? Like a leaf or something."

"I didn't see anything."

Derpy gave her own farewell wave, and once the two mares were far enough away she let out a sigh of relief, followed by a light groan.

"That was close. I think they'll buy that story for now."

"I believe that interaction was sufficient."

Derpy turned to him, scrunching her face. "But you talked like a robot the whole time. Ponies find that weird."

"You understand that I am a remnant of computational technology," the stallion pointed out, with some hint of snark in his dry tone.

"Even so, you shouldn't make everything you say sound like a book report." Derpy gave a smile. "At least you were nice."

"Of course. It is only considerate to be polite."

"Well up next is the crash course in pony socializing: dealing with large crowds. And the marketplace is the perfect place to do just that."

"I should handle it reasonably well, if that engagement with that group of juveniles earlier were any indication for success."

"They thought you were weird, too. And you barely said anything then!" Derpy huffed. "At least nothing funky happened while they were around."

"I am confident my corruption field has been suppressed considerably, with only the occasional but easily amendable abnormality, as you have undoubtedly noticed."

"Yeah. That would've been bad if those two had noticed their hair getting mixed around, and those kids would've really gone crazy if something happened then. Though, it was nice not being the strange one for once…"

"I am sorry? Your volume dropped during that statement."

"Whuh? Oh, it's nothing. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," Mist said with a stiff nod.

Derpy gave her own nod in affirmation, but then her eyes widened and focused to her muzzle, where a tuft of her yellow mane seemed to have relocated to beneath her snout as a tidy mustache. She gave her head a shake, and seeing that it had gone away she gave her companion a look.

"A minor… slip up, I assure you," he answered with stoic innocence.

Derpy smiled again, then turned in the direction of the marketplace. "Let's get going, then. If we get out in time, I can take you over to the schoolhouse and introduce you to Dinky when it lets out. Then maybe you can foalsit her while I'm with the girls. Well, no, that might not actually be a good idea. But then again she's big enough to take care of herself, so maybe she'd look after you. Hee hee, how's that for an idea. Now forward and onward!"

It was all a very strange experience for the glitch known as Missingno.: being in the midst of so many others after being relegated to the furthest corners of the information highway for so long. Granted these were mere compilations of data not all that different from himself, but it was jarring nevertheless. Yet there were some new discoveries to be had, such as his surprise in learning that his corruptive effects _could_ be controlled, with a good bit of resizing and careful monitoring.

And there was Derpy Hooves, his subject of study, guiding him on a tour through her point of view, up close to those that she considered "real". He still wasn't sold on what could be gained seeing the archive from within as opposed to from a distance, but the proposal did offer another angle to help determine his next course of action in finding a new station outside his original functions. Plus, though strange to admit it, it felt kind of nice having some company. Particularly one as friendly and joyful as that ditzy grey mare.

Having pondered for long enough, "Misty" permitted a slight smile before trotting forward to rejoin his guide. Even if what was to come proved hopelessly inane, at least his time with the flawed pegasus would make his investigations amusing. And that alone seemed well worth the trouble.

 **The End**


End file.
